It’s been over 2 months since our big fat Chinese wedding, and it’s taken until now for the photos to come back to us. In this post I thought I could share a few photos, and in between reflect on how the wedding went.
In the weeks following the wedding, my husband and his parents talked a lot about how they thought it had gone. I’m sad to say that most of what I heard was negative. The wedding planner was too expensive, didn’t do a good job of planning, the decoration was too simple. The photos took too long, there weren’t enough, they weren’t good. The host didn’t listen to what we said, was really old-fashioned, downright hideous (maybe my words). This, that, the other went wrong.
It makes me a little sad that I have to keep telling R to look at the positives: think about the happy memories we’ll have of singing in front of 200 people, wearing a posh suit/amazing dress, having both sets of parents together for possibly the only time. We gave his parents a lot of face, which is important to them, and it seems to me the Chinese equivalent of making them proud.
This all reflects a part of Chinese culture I touched on before in my post on praise. The good things are just not mentioned, rather only the bad things are brought up and criticised.
When it comes to my husband I don’t really get why he’s upset. I mean, a wedding day is not really the thing that boy dream about growing up. Neither he nor I were all that bothered about having the big shebang, and mainly did it for his parents. So why let it get to him? As for his parents, I really don’t think all their family and friends will have noticed all the issues. The food was fabulous (if you’re into seafood), the ‘ceremony’ resembled your average Chinese wedding ‘ceremony’ and lots of drinks were drunk. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I do think the thing the guests will be talking about is the yangxifu 洋媳妇 in the gorgeous red qipao 旗袍 😛 plus a whole table of rowdy foreigners (i.e. my family).
On my part, I’m taking the ‘what’s done is done’ viewpoint and concentrating on the positives. Yes, there were things that annoyed me and things I wish we’d done differently, but it was a very special day and the only wedding day I’ll ever have (fingers crossed!) so what’s the point feeling bitter about it?